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Endurance Inspired by Hope

Mary Grothe Mar 9, 2022 8:30:00 AM

 

Meet Host, Mary Grothe

Mary Grothe is a former #1 MidMarket B2B Sales Rep who after selling millions and breaking multiple records, formed House of Revenue™, a Denver-based firm of fractional Revenue Leaders who currently lead the marketing, sales, customer success, and RevOps departments for 10 companies nationwide. In the past year, they've helped multiple 2nd stage growth companies between $5M - $20M, on average, double their MRR within 10 months, resulting in an average ROI of 1,454% and an average annual revenue growth eclipsing $3.2 million.

 

Don't Have Time to Listen, Read The Full Transcription.

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Mary Grothe: Hey everyone, this is Mary Grothe - Founder and CEO - and you're listening to the Revenue Radio™ podcast brought to you by House of Revenue™. Each week, we'll talk about common revenue challenges and how to get past them, share real-world experiences, and get a glimpse into my life as a CEO scaling my own business. If you're a struggling entrepreneur, or just an entrepreneur looking to be inspired, this podcast is for you. I'll give you honest, unfiltered, and practical insights into growing your business and getting past your revenue plateau.

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What is your source from which everything else stems as a CEO, an entrepreneur, a leader inside your company? What do you plug into to recharge and ensure that you have enough to give you can't give what you don't have? What are you plugging into? Where are you recharging so that you can give to your team, clients, and back at home at the end of the day to your family?

I was challenged to get re-centered over the last few weeks. It was an ugly experience, but every breakdown can be a breakthrough if you allow it. I work with a coach. I'm so thankful for him. I've worked with him on and off for the last several years. I attribute my early success and even being brave enough to start a company. He allowed me to peel back the layers, uncover that fiery entrepreneur inside of me, and finally just own up to the fact of my DNA, I'm an entrepreneur. I owned it and was able to have the courage to start my own company again. You look at what has to happen every day plug into the source to give if we're coming from a depleted state. There's just absolutely nothing to give.

As a CEO, entrepreneur, or high-performing individual, I want to talk about our families today. Then talk about how inspired we are by our works and how those two can often battle each other. Hopefully, this resonates with somebody. I feel some people in our audience are high achievers. I hope that this stands out. I think back to myself as a young and early age, just a top achiever. I set my standards back when I was single, living by myself, and didn't have anybody to report to except my dog. I would work, work, work, perform, perform, perform, perform, achieve, achieve, achieve, achieve. Sometimes to the point of exhaustion.

I had a work hard, play hard mentality. At the end of the day, I only answered to myself, "I did whatever I wanted to do." It was liberating, honestly, because I'm a very unique person. I'm a high driver. I have high urgency. I care a lot. I have a ton of passion. Those days were amazing. With my level of performance, I achieved the records. I broke the income I earned, but I always felt so lonely. At the end of the day, I don't have anyone to come home to celebrate with.

I found myself wanting that so badly that I was on dating apps trying to find a man that could keep up with me. Either way, I think there's only one. He is my husband. I would be so sad each night and just feel so empty. I also wasn't a Christian woman at that point. I didn't have this eternal source of love coming through to me. I just didn't believe in any of that, and I was lonely. Well, fast forward, some of you know this story. I hit my rock bottom at 29 and became a Christian. All that success, working hard, playing hard finally just drove me into the pit of despair. I didn't know why I had been created, what my purpose was on this planet. I didn't know I didn't have anyone to love. I just felt like I had so much love to give, but honestly, the person I needed to love was myself. I didn't know how to do that.

Then, I gave my life to Jesus became a Christian. Just a couple of months later, I met my husband. He really was the man that I was praying for. That I just didn't know that I longed for, I should say. All those nights of coming home to no one. I just dreamed of this stable, consistent force in my life that would allow me to go be crazy, do my entrepreneurial things, my high performance, achievement, whatever. I worked hard, but I was ready to hang up some of the play-hard hats in exchange for a true partnership. Well, I did that, and we got married. We had the best first year of marriage. I mean, it's magical.

My absolute best friend trusted him with everything. I talked to him about everything. I was just growing up and maturing so much as a human, also spiritually. He was absolutely there for all of it. We got pregnant early in our marriage, and it obviously shifts the dynamic of a marriage at the same time. I was starting to grow unhappy with my full-time sales career. I was performing so well, doing great work, making good money, but I was very dissatisfied. I could just feel inside, I was destined and called for something greater, but I didn't know what it was. So here I am, I'm like, "Well, let's have a kid." That was hard for me. I've only had an identity to that point as a "High-performing Successful Professional."

Now, I'm having a kid. I don't know anything about being a mom. I have this kid, and it rocked my world. The transition from top 10 sales rep - fame, glory, recognition, and working my tail off to now caring for this infant full time. As I've never had really identified as a mom, I didn't have this calling to be a mom. I wasn't longing for a baby. It was imprinted on my life. It's time for you to have a child. I just felt like I should have a kid because that's kind of what people do when they get married, and it sounds fun. You're supposed to. The scripture says you multiply.

I think I'm a pretty cool person. My husband is an awesome person. We probably have a pretty cool kid, so why not procreate? We're very intentional about it. It hit me really hard. It was really hard, coupled with really severe postpartum depression and anxiety. I had to be treated with medication. It was a tough transition for me from being on the stage, being a top performer, and excelling in all things in my life to having this challenge grounding me at home. I just realized at that moment how selfish I was. But I also realized how destined and purposeful I felt to do work. I was called to do work in this world.

I had a couple of girlfriends having kids at the same time. They felt the imprint on their life. The calling in their life was to be a mom. They couldn't stomach the thought of going back to work. They needed to be home with their baby or babies. They felt this clear calling that they were supposed to do, so work just really got in the way. They didn't want to have a job. But remember, work doesn't mean a nine to five or being paid. Work is whatever you're putting your effort into throughout the day. Some women are very called to be that, but that wasn't me. I ended up when my son was just maybe 16 months old. He was over a year, maybe 14 or 15 months old. I can't do the Math. I'm always so bad at Math.

I started working with my coach because I could feel this calling in my life. I was supposed to start another business, and I needed to step out into entrepreneurship. I was so scared. I was making so much money being a sales performer. We had really great insurance. I'm like, "Ah, so hard to leave," but I felt called to do it, and I did. I was brave enough to step out. I felt so much pressure and took on so much risk. We're starting a company that I ended up just working like 100 hours a week. I totally neglected my family. In a way, it felt good. I'm very honest with you guys on this podcast. Let me just lay it out there so that somebody who's maybe carried, felt this guilt, or felt this way.

I think it's normal for some high-drivers and very career-focused people to feel better as a professional than as a mom. I could perform better. I actually felt more love and appreciation for running a company and working with clients than I did at home. Being a mom is a tough job. It's completely selfless and thankless. It is round the clock. It's at their beck and call. It's so hard. You just don't get the appreciation on the "I love you and thank you, and you're just the best mom in the world." That baby can't respond. They can't talk to you. Even when they can, they certainly aren't saying those things because they have no frame of reference.

I'm fueled by words of affirmation and recognition. That's my motivation style. At work, I get that all day long. I'm fulfilled by people who give me a pat on the back a great work. It's not the case at home, so I find myself getting fulfilled there. I just performed and did my duties at home, but not fulfilled. So fast forward, when the pandemic hit, I have a level set. I started to reconnect with my family. I realized how much they loved me and appreciated me. My son, at that point, was about three years old, so getting out of that infant-toddler phase. It was starting to be a lot easier and much more personalized communication. It was great. That really took off for that next phase of my life.

He's five and a half now. He'll be six this summer. He is in his first year of kindergarten. There's an exciting switch happening in my life: my son is becoming more independent. He's absolutely flourishing in school. He has one of the best hearts I've ever seen in a child. He is so caring, pure, and just straight love. He's also brilliant and excelling. I'm so proud of my son. He's super cute. Let's just throw that out there. Okay, I'm done gushing. I'm sure you all feel the exact same way about your kids.

Now that my son is becoming more independent, I need to be more engaged with him. His schedule, picking him up, dropping him off, taking him to swim class, and whatever else we're doing. I have a decision to make in my life because I have a little bit more extra time that isn't tied to just caring for a baby or a toddler around the clock. The investment that needs to be made is back into my marriage and husband. I noticed that it wasn't my first choice.

I started taking some extra time and pouring it back into my work. It's one of those situations like every day, we have to make choices and make decisions. I can pour myself into my work at the expense of pouring myself into my marriage, being intentional, and my home life because it feels good. I get immediate gratification because I'm surrounded by people who love me. I fight for our mission and vision. I fight for our clients and that our clients love us. It's a life-giving company that we've created. It's full of love and light. We work hard. We win. Through that winning comes recognition, earnings, those mushy, feel-good scenarios.

At home, it's really just like a lot of work. There isn't a lot of that celebration, adoration, and fulfillment. Whose fault is that? If you had asked me two weeks ago, that would have been my husband's fault. If you asked me today, even though the word fault is kind of harsh, it's mine. Where you water, the grass grows. Because it's easier, my tendency, maybe you're feeling this the same way as a hard-working professional. I know the equation to success in my company. If I do these 10 things, these 10 things happen. Then we get these results. It's like clockwork, especially in our fifth year in business. We're finally past the startup phase. We have a product-market fit. Now we're just enjoying the fruits of our labor. There's consistency. It's a lot calmer. It's optimized, so here I am. If I just go do these things, I get these results. It feels really good.

Well, if I could just do that in my marriage and do it at home. I'm present, communicating, and responding to how I'm opening my heart and creating space in my own house. The way that I reserve some energy from my day and bring home some energy, so I'm not just like a worn-out bump on a log that wants to sit on the couch and scroll through my social media feed. There's intentionality there. You shouldn't just bring your leftovers home to your marriage. That's what I was doing.

My husband is loyal, consistent, and a routine man. We're polar opposites if you haven't picked up on that yet. He is my steady Eddy, and he's always here, and it's so easy to just take that for granted. I had just forgotten that friendship and passion for each other. When we're intentional about it, we just get sucked into such a routine. I am flourishing in my business and having the time of my life. Then I'd come home and just turn into the blame game because I wasn't willing to step up to the plate.

It also gets into plugging into the source of getting recharged. For me, that's my faith, reading scripture, reading devotionals, being consistent, listening to sermons, or going to church. It's allowing God to speak to me through words or circumstances. I opened up that same communication channel, allowing his will to carry out my life, not my own will.

As a high-performing individual, I often put myself in the driver's seat. When I do, I'm manifesting and creating a life that only exists within my knowledge because I'm in the driver's seat. If I allow God to be in the driver's seat, he gets to create the life that only he knows, and he can we all agree. God knows way more than we do. If you look at our little cut out of the pie chart of all-knowing and all beings, we know just one sliver. If we're in control, trying to create life only within that one sliver, we're limiting ourselves from everything else in that pie chart that only God knows. He could create for us if we would just allow him to.

As entrepreneurs, CEOs, high drivers, and visionaries, we have probably proven to ourselves that we can create a fantastic life. But God can make one even bigger, better, and can far surpass anything that we could ever dream up. He is all-knowing, and we're not. It's just another reminder for me to get out of the driver's seat and allow him to do works in my life that only he can do.

I was in church yesterday and heard of the definition of sin. The preaching pastor gave me a definition of sin that I hadn't heard before. Sinning is when we do it our way versus God's way. It is shocking to me how true that is and how it rang true. When I am controlling and trying to make things happen, it's pretty amazing how limited my outcome will be.

I'll leave you with this, 1 Thessalonians 1:3 was a scripture we talked about yesterday. It says, "We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor, prompted by love and your endurance inspired by hope and our Lord Jesus Christ." It doesn't mean you aren't Christians at listening to this. I understand that you're like, "I don't even understand the context of this scripture or anything." Cool.

Let me just break down the stuff that's really standing out for me: your work is produced by faith. Think about how as entrepreneurs, our work is made by faith. Faith is a vision, believing in something we cannot see. When we look at your work produced by faith that we have to be connected to the source, we have to behold beings. We have to be plugged in. We have to be complete so that we can give. When we are full, we can have a vision. We can make time to work on the business, not be journeying in the weeds.

Our work is produced by faith that we first have to create the vision to understand the plan and where we're going. Our work is made by that faith, and labor is prompted by love. Your labor is prompted by love, whether it's a love for carrying out your vision, love for the people that you're serving, your client's love for the wealth that you're creating through doing good works, love for whatever. If you truly break down and look at the labor, effort, long and short hours you put in the work you do, you probably perform at a level like you do more in that amount of time than many of the people that surround you can do.

Our labor is prompted by love that we can fuel our work. There's a greater passion behind it. If it was work to just do work and labor to just do labor, we'd probably run dry. That's why a lot of people get burnt out. They run out of steam because it's not fun anymore. The heart for it is gone.

If you're going to climb here in Colorado, we have the Manitou incline, which is very difficult to climb. It's like 27 or 2800 steps and 2000 vertical feet. You think like, "How am I going to accomplish us?" Well, they mark off every 100 feet. I believe its 100 is marked off, so you're able to have points of when you can accomplish and look forward and say, "Let's do another 100. Let's do another 100. Let's do another 100." That's the endurance aspired by hope. It's inspired by what you can't maybe quite see next, but you know that it's there. You're expectant and hope that if you do, then you will receive. I see this, and I say that your work is produced by faith. Your labor is produced by love, and your endurance is inspired by hope. You have no faith, love, and hope; if you are not plugged into a powerful source. That means you have to be well. You have to be a whole being. For some of us, it's Christianity and faith. Some of us, its nature. Some of us believe in that greater being in force in this world. Tapping into that and filling ourselves with goodness. That is where you can give.

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Thanks for listening to today's episode. If you're interested in being on our show or want to learn more about how we can help you scale your company, connect with us at houseofrevenue.com or with me Mary Grothe spelled G-R-O-T-H-E on LinkedIn, Twitter, or Instagram.

Connect with House of Revenue™ on LinkedIn, Twitter, and Instagram.

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